Season Finale

Welcome to the season finale of De-Stigma Dialogues. Wow! I can not even believe that this day is here! This season has been a whirlwind and the realisation of a dream that I didn’t know I had. Thank you to all of you that subscribed and followed and shared and engaged. I did this because I got to this stage in life and realised that although women have a reputation (stigma) for talking a lot… In the Caribbean the ‘washer women’ metaphor is used often. For those outside that culture, it alludes to the practice of going to the river en masse to wash clothes, during which time, stories and gossip is often shared. But even with that stigma I’ve come to realise that we weren’t actually talking about many of the things that matter specifically to US. I got to perimenopause without ever hearing conversations about it and then when I tried to have those conversations, I would often be shut down… I mean how is that possible, that we say so much and yet, we say so little about the things that affect us directly? I’ll tell you how, STIGMA… those pesky little things that stick on for dear life became the glue that sealed our lips, on the themes and events and circumstances that affect us because it makes the patriarchy uncomfortable and to some extent, it makes us uncomfortable because of the narrative we internalised.This podcast is meant to unseal lips and enable us to really talk to one another about things that are important to us and our daughters and sisters and mothers and cousins and aunts and nieces and yeah, men too…

This season I bit off a lot with the three topics chosen but they were all connected as I hope you came to see. I had to start with Perimenopause because this year it completely took over my life. I wanted to have conversations about it with friends and family that I was sure was going through many of the same things. Instead of real discussions, I was bombarded with forwarded memes and gifs and articles and quotes and videos. Though they were fun (the gifs and memes) and enlightening (some of the videos and articles), it wasn’t discourse. We weren’t talking to each other directly, by doing this, we removed ourselves from the dialogues. I wasn’t talking to my friend or relative about menopause brain, I was watching a video about it that she forwarded. I wasn’t having a discussion with one of my best friends about being short tempered and suffering through night sweats, I was being sent a comedy bit about it. I wasn’t talking to a cousin about my itchy vag, I was getting an article about it in my email. That wasn’t discourse!

When a close friend opened up to me about her experience, I realised just how starved I was for this conversation and those like it. I was tired of the looks and hm hms. When said friend proposed a podcast, I don’t think this is what she had in mind. She knew of my initial blog The Reviewblr and my reviews and so I think she was thinking along those lines. But something just clicked in late april and the Universe planted the word “stigma’ in my mind. It started to germinate and I realised that there were so very many stigmas placed on us throughout our entire lifecycle. The stigma of perimenopause is but one. I found this podcasts’ purpose, mission, vision, by examining me. My life and my experiences were the catalyst. I realised that I had to be willing to talk out loud about the things that affect my life and my daughter’s and my sister’s and my nieces and my mother’s, my friends and relatives. I realised that if we started to have these conversations about these stigmas, the ripple effect could change lives. It had the potential to bring us out of the isolation and darkness that these stigmas imposed. This podcast / book club has the potential to cut the strings that society uses to move us through this life…

I knew I wanted to include a book club because while talking is important, I recognise that everyone is different and some people need another avenue into the discussion. Books have always been conversation starters for me and I knew that they were for many others. Then came the reading, so much reading y’all! The more I looked and the more research I did, the more I found. I made lists of books that I wanted to read, or had already read that spoke to the themes that I wanted to tackle. I knew that I needed a blend of genres, you know everyone’s different and things resonate differently for everyone. I think I did a fairly competent, no I did a good job compiling my shortlist. I don’t know if anyone has had an opportunity yet to check out any of the books, but to paraphrase Drew Barrymore, I made it for you so take it with you! It is gift giving season and we are on the cusp of a new year, so why not get your tribe members a book this season and start your own conversations. I also put together a discussion guide on each so that can get the ball rolling.

Something else I knew I wanted to include in each episode was music. One of the subscribers did reach out to ask about it so I thought I would let you all know more, in case there was someone else asking the same. She enjoyed the musical interludes as I call them and I am so glad! I knew that I wanted to break up all the talk that I would be doing. I don’t know about you but when I work I listen to music. It helps the brain juices juice, if you know what I mean. As I researched and read and wrote each episode, there would be music playing in the background and the songs that appeared in each episode were the ones that I thought had a line or a chorus or a title that paired perfectly with the juncture where they were placed, be it overtly or metaphorically. So that’s my method for choosing the music. I want to shout out to my daughter for helping me with the music for each episode. She was my musical engineer and without her, it definitely wouldn’t have gone as well as it did. We both thought it would be cool to make a playlist for this season so we did! I grew up in the mix-tape era, so this feels like a homecoming of sorts. All the songs featured this season will be put on a spotify playlist and linked in this week’s newsletter. I hope you enjoy it. I think it’s eclectic and definitely a vibe! Plus if you get tired of Christmas Music… just sayin.

While exploring perimenopause I started to see connections to the stigmas of narrative and feminism. I saw how our narrative influenced how we thought about perimenopause and feminism. I saw how the symptoms of perimenopause factored into our narrative and the narrative used to deny so many in the past their freedom which heavily impacted the rise of feminism. In my readings, I have come to see how interconnected so many of our stigmas are which is why I was sure to say a place of pause with each, because as we continue this journey those connections will continue to be uncovered and explored.

This season I learned some things and I hope that I was able to shed some light. Let’s check out some highlights of this season…

• The premiere of the first film to fully address the topic of perimenopause: The M Factor!! I was thrilled to see this and how it spoke to the intersectionality of this stage of life. If you haven’t seen it yet, please do yourself a favor and check it out! It should answer quite a few questions on perimenopause for those in this stage and for those approaching it, even those past it (you can help a junior by sharing).

• The results of the poll from Newsletter Issue #2 showed that 67% of you think that it is supportive of your partner to notify you of Menopause Day. The previous results showed it being 50% supportive and 50% offensive. I actually only learned of this day while doing this podcast. I’m not sure how many of you were privy to it before but for those that weren’t, mark your calendars for October 18th to acknowledge and yeah celebrate it. Let’s change that narrative!

• The Book Club Selections! They are all really good books but perhaps my fave favourites were The Change, Broken Light and The New Moon’s Arms. Without this podcast / book club I’m not sure I would’ve read these and they were transformative and profound. Listen to me: PICK ONE UP!

• The Comments!! I loved each and every exchange throughout this season! I know it’s not easy to open up and share aspects of your life. But, I promise you that every time you do, you impact someone and that ripple is momentous!

So as we come to a close on season one, I wanted to give a small glimpse into season two. It will premiere in January. The big three topics will be Motherhood, Career, and Intuition. Like the three from this season, I believe those three to also be interconnected. There will be a new Book Club Selection and a new Runners-Up Club of books to sink into. Also, I am hoping that next season there will be even more engagement and I am looking into adding a few more elements, maybe video, a live chat, Q&A, an actual book club discussion… I am tres excited!

As we come to the end of this year and this season, I want to thank each and every one of you who subscribed and shared and participated. You helped grow this tribe and I promise to continue to earn your support. This week’s newsletter will be available tomorrow and this is me signing off season one of De-Stigma Dialogues! 2024 has been a year rife with challenges and trauma but in the midst of that, let’s not forget the enduring presence of hope and its ability to lift and empower. Thank you, Happy Holidays and remember your voice matters so keep talking out LOUD!