To All The Boy-Moms...
Newsletter Issue 2.4
Housekeeping
This week we expanded the discourse to acknowledge the moms that raise boys. By touching on the familiar tropes of “boys are easier than girls” and “boys will be boys”, we explored the dangers of Toxic Masculinity and the effects of the passive mom in raising our boys. Thing is, our boys need just as much protection and support from us as our girls. How they are raised by their mothers will have a lasting impact on them and on the future of society. Raise them well!
This Week’s Episode…
Can boys be Feminists?
I pondered this question when I drafted this week’s episode. I don’t believe that they can but they can certainly be ALLIES! Educate them about both sides!
Something to Watch…
This series, like the one posted in the last newsletter, generated a lot of discussion surrounding the topic of toxic masculinity. It is heart wrenching and quite the morality play. Pay attention!
And at the same time, let’s not forget the impact on us all…
On the Tone-Deaf Male…
Part Two of Yes! Mom Life!
Remember that Jennifer Aniston clip from the last issue? Here’s part two… This clip is taken from the series Love Is and in it Loretta Devine is taking her son to school… How many of us mom’s have had this conversation with our sons? How many of us simply expect the woman in the relationship to cater to your son as you have? Where does the Buck stop? Are you fully active and present in how your son is being raised? Is your son going to be the “stick” or the “cog” in the ever-turning patriarchal machine?
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Intentionally…
In this discourse, I spoke to the girl moms and the boy moms but I didn’t expand on the moms of trans-gendered children. This is another area where intersectionality must be acknowledged. I recognize that this area comes with its own set of challenges, with the main one being acceptance. I do not begin to understand all the levels of sexuality that have expanded my repertoire (I’m a Gen X-er that grew up with three basic levels of sexuality and two genders, so I’m on the learning curve) but I do understand unconditional love. As mothers, we may have a vision for our children and I think that mostly we want them to have a better life than we did. We want to make it easier for them and in so doing our protective instinct can sometimes cause more harm than good. We want them to find their place in this world but without too much bruising. That said, this world is especially harsh for what society deems as ‘other’, and we moms know this having been placed in that ‘realm’ ourselves. We want to shield them but we must also recognize that our children’s journeys are their own and sometimes the only thing we can do, as moms, is love and accept them as they figure things out, and that is regardless of gender or sexuality. Our intentions must remain pure and unsullied by our own biases and prejudices, because when they aren’t no-one benefits.
Feel Good…
Motherhood is not only about putting in the work, it is also about remembering who we are in this journey and embracing the evolution. This series seeks to remind mothers who they once were and reconcile that with who they’ve become in this journey. Take it for what it is: a salve.
Place of Pause…
Because our sons are also sources of light!